Guilt By Association
by iilaiia
Summary: Finally complete, insane but complete... and wow, is THAT what this is about? I wrote that summary so long ago. An accident in Mirkwood creates tension between Gimli, Legolas and Thranduil
1. Just A Simple Mission

Guilt By Association  
Just A Simple Mission  
  
It started out as normal and routine as to even be boring. Just trudge through the woods, kill a spider or two then report back to the king that yet another threat had been cleared away, yet another step in changing Legolas' beloved Mirkwood into Greenwood the Great. Gimli had never thought very much of this place. He knew how Thranduil felt about dwarves, himself especially having snared a place in Legolas' soul that his father, for all his years of trying, never had. Still where Legolas went, Gimli followed. It was their vow to each other forged in the heat of battle when they road together to the very gate of Mordor. So Gimli was here now, sharing Legolas' childhood home and all to eager to set out on this mission. To get away from the palace and Thranduil's cold hate was a blessing unto itself.  
  
The forest was seemingly calm, actually quite calm, even still as Gimli followed behind Legolas and the small band of elves. Thranduil had bade that Legolas was not to go with just "the dwarf" so he had sent Orophil and Glorthrandir as well. The party came to a stop. They were nearing their prey. The air closed in around him suddenly and Gimli pulled out his axe as the elves sprang to life. Arrows flew through the air and the screams of the black spiders carried far through the trees. Time came rushing to a halt as Gimli turned to bring up his axe to kill the spider before him but he knew that he was moving too slow. He needn't have feared for there was Legolas, his twin blades gleaming with sunlight, cutting the spider down. It was how they were ever since the fellowship had begun those years ago. They guarded each other's backs. It had become instinct, too powerful to be ignored and it took precedence over everything they did. So it was that while Legolas had saved Gimli, he had left the back of Orophil defenseless.  
  
The journey back to Mirkwood was miserable. They took turns carrying Orophil, who's breathing was shallow and heart rate barely even existent. Upon reaching the palace the healers had taken him away to try to save his life and Legolas, Gimli and Glorthrandir sat in terrible silence. There was nothing they could say to each other. Not one of them was responsible for Orophil's fall but yet they all together had played a part in it. Guilt swam and festered in each of them as they waited in the great hall where just a few hours ago they all had set out together. The silence was so deafening that the quiet strides of another entering the room was as loud as thunder. Legolas' breath caught in his throat and Gimli looked up startled by his friend's reaction. Thranduil stood before them.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
When neither Legolas nor Glorthrandir answered, Gimli mustered up his strength and found his voice. "There were three spiders when we came upon them. In the middle of battle two more appeared. We were overwhelmed."  
  
Thranduil cast his hard gaze at Gimli as if trying to read if he was lying. His eyes narrowed. "How did Orophil come by his bite?"  
  
At that question all three heads jerked upwards. They had not known that he had been bitten. When silence again spread through them, Thranduil turned to his son. "Legolas? Tell me, how did this happen?"  
  
"I did not see the attack."  
  
Thranduil clearly did not expect this answer. "How is that so? Once Glorthrandir gave chase, you were Orophil second in battle."  
  
Once said, once put into actual words before him, Legolas felt the grim certainty of it sink it. He froze in place.  
  
Thranduil's confusion was turning to anger. "You DID give chase as you said, Glorthrandir, did you not?"  
  
Now forced to answer, Glorthrandir finally met the gaze of the King. "I killed the two that fled. This is true, therefore I was not there when Orophil." He broke off and took a breath. "Do we know of his condition yet?"  
  
"Nay, the healers work even now. If he survives the night, he should recover. We will not know until then."  
  
This was grim news indeed, thought Gimli, that elf HAD to pull through or else the guilt of what he had made Legolas do to honor their vow would tear him apart.  
  
Thranduil turned and began to walk away then but paused a few feet away, tilting his head back slightly. "Legolas, I would speak with you a moment."  
  
Legolas shared a glance with Gimli then followed his father into the adjoining room. This is bad, Gimli's mind intoned. He had to do something and fast. 


	2. Lies As Truth

Guilt By Association  
  
Lies As Truth  
  
Thranduil closed the door behind them just after his son entered the room. The waning light floated through the air illuminating the dust giving the room a feeling of great age. Thranduil studied his son, concern now plaguing him and warring with his anger and confusion. Legolas stood stiffly, his own turmoil raging inside of him. The two elves regarded each other for a moment then finally the King of Mirkwood spoke.  
  
"If you were holding back before, you need not do so here."  
  
As this did not serve to change Legolas' expression or posture, Thranduil, thoroughly frustrated, pressed on. "Again, I ask you, what happened out there?"  
  
Legolas paused yet again. Gimli's recount of the day had been accurate up until the very end. What he had left out was that he had left Orophil to be attacked. It was that simple. His father had even named him Orophil's second yet still he could not seem to just come out and say it. He felt that if he gave words to what he had done, then the truth of it would break him. He had seen so much death, so much pain just in the past few years that more suffering and sorrow he could not take. So he did not respond causing Thranduil to sigh softly in resignation.  
  
"Then if you will not answer that question, I ask you whom you are protecting?" Thranduil sneered, "the dwarf?"  
  
This provoked Legolas as nothing else could. His fury rose quickly. "His name is Gimli and no. I have no cause to protect him. He acted in bravery and in-"  
  
"Excuse me sire" They both turned startled by the appearance of Tarsul, one of the guards. It was as if he had materialized out of no where. "I have urgent news."  
  
"Speak then." Thranduil was really not in the mood for anymore silence.  
  
"The one responsible for this attack upon Orophil has come forward and expressed his guilt."  
  
The one responsible? Shock flew through Legolas as he tried to puzzle this new, strange information out. There wasn't anyone that was responsible, at least no one besides himself. Suddenly it hit him and it was so obvious. Oh, no. He wouldn't.  
  
Thranduil narrowed his eyes. "Who?"  
  
Tarsul looked smugly at Legolas. "The dwarf, sire."  
  
Thranduil didn't quite smile but Legolas could see him holding it back. "I will speak to him this instant then." Without even a backward glance, he tore out of the room with Tarsul in his wake.  
  
Legolas felt frozen in place. Too much had happened in the past few seconds to fully comprehend. He felt a whirlwind of emotions fly over him almost too fast to identify. Anger, grief, guilt and finally fear. His paralysis lifted at the thought of Gimli. He raced towards the door where his father had just left, one thing clear and sharp in his mind. Thranduil would not be as gentle with Gimli as he had been with him. 


	3. Slow Decay

Wow, bet you didn't think I'd ever write more on this. Me neither but thanks again to my beta, muse and bestest friend EVER, I have new inspiration. So check it out, more on Estelless and Target Practice coming soon (now that was a shameless plug). Cowgoddess, you're the best and while I would dedicate this chapter to you, in reality, it's all about chapter 4. However, with that said, um. here's chapter 3!!! (I'm so weird. and going now)  
  
Guilt By Association  
  
Chapter 3 - Slow Decay  
  
Legolas arrived only a mere seconds behind his father however, the inevitable fight was already underway. Thranduil stood completely still, his fiery eyes glowing as if trying to stare down the dwarf. Though what he did not know was that Gimli was not one to back down from a fight and this was not one he was prepared to lose.  
  
"I didn't say that! I simply said that your infernal son was not responsible." Gimli's arms were crossed over his chest, a position Legolas had come to be familiar with. The dwarf was trying to reign in his temper. Legolas sighed rather more heavily than he meant to. This was really only a matter of time.  
  
"I do not need you to tell me that, dwarf." Thranduil's voice was quiet, a very bad sign. Gimli started to sputter something but was cut off by the king before the words could even be formed. "However, since the blames lies not with Legolas then it would stand to reason that it would lie with you."  
  
This accusation spurred Gimli's anger and his thoughts formed clearly into words. "Only from the inept mind of an elf would that twisted logic make any sense."  
  
Legolas fought the urge to sigh again. Here we go.  
  
"You dare insult not only me but my entire race as well?" It hadn't seemed possible but Thranduil's stance had gotten even stiller and with it, his fury more terrifying.  
  
That is, to anyone but Gimli. He had traveled, fought and lived with Legolas for years now and this type of elven anger he knew well. In fact, knowing Legolas as closely as he did and being so comfortable with his moods and fears was giving Gimli a false sense of security. His instincts held him firm in the knowledge that Legolas, while truly intimidating in his anger, would never hurt him and it was Legolas' reactions he saw now mirrored through Thranduil. And while Gimli could fight safely with Legolas until the land passed into nothingness, this was not a trait he shared with his father.  
  
"I would feel lucky if I were you, for if indeed your race was comprised of ignorant, selfish, foolish elves such as yourself then it would have died off years ago!" Gimli's voice had slowly risen throughout his speech and by the time he had finished he was so worked up, he was screaming.  
  
Legolas stood frozen where he was, unconsciously mimicking his father. For the first time he noticed that a silence had fallen across the hallway. Tarsul stood at the King's back, shaking with anger, his hand on his long sword's hilt. Legolas upon seeing this quickly slipped between Gimli and the guard, an act of pure instinct bred by years of battle. His movement stirred his father out of his shock.  
  
"I hereby accuse and condemn you Master dwarf of the wounding of Orophil and banish you from this realm from this day forth." Thranduil's voice was deep and cold. His eyes hard steel. It was a look Gimli had seen before only it had never been directed at him. This affected Gimli as nothing else could for it finally drove home the differences between his best friend and the King who hated him. Gimli backed off sensing from Legolas the need to be cautious and quickly waived away an angry rebuttal that he saw forming on the elf's face.  
  
When Gimli finally spoke, it was with great care and no inflection. "As the King commands." He turned to leave, strictly refusing to meet the eyes of his traveling companion at his side but was turned around by another voice.  
  
"And what of me then, Lord Thranduil?" The group of four all turned in the direction of this new voice. Glorthrandir had joined them. "If Gimli is indeed to blame then I am just as guilty. Will you banish me as well?"  
  
Thranduil frowned. "You are hardly at fault, you were not even there at the time of Orophil's attack."  
  
"I was." Gimli groaned at Legolas' statement. That had been his whole point, simply that Legolas was not to be held responsible yet here they were again. Honestly, thought the dwarf, between Legolas and Aragorn it was amazing that there was any guilt LEFT in the world. Gimli refocused on Legolas' words. "Would I also face banishment then?"  
  
Whether or not it had been intentional, the two admissions of the elves had backed Thranduil neatly into a corner. He could not banish the dwarf without also banishing the other two elves and sending his son away was not something Thranduil was prepared to do. So they stood in silence again, both parties waiting for the other to speak. Legolas watched with growing fascination and dismay as his father's anger slowly withered away to be replaced by a more ominous emotion; grief. Finally Thranduil simply walked away pulling his guard along with him. The remaining three watched him go in grim countenance and then turned to each other wondering what to do next.  
  
Glorthrandir was first to speak. "I actually came to tell you that Orophil has awakened and is out of danger."  
  
Both Legolas and Gimli shared a coordinated sign of relief causing them to smile at each other. Gimli's voice resumed it normal pitch. "That is certainly the good news I needed to hear." Legolas said nothing but the smile stayed on his face. "So then he should clear my good name."  
  
Glorthrandir's expression was stern yet not menacing. "So he was not one of the ignorant, selfish or foolish elves of whom you spoke earlier?"  
  
Legolas watched with amazement as Gimli actually colored in shock. He begin stumbling for words, trying to form some type of apology or explanation just as Glorthrandir began to laugh. "Peace, Master dwarf, I am not offended. I rather count myself astounded to have witnessed someone stand up to the King and live to tell the tale."  
  
Gimli's panic died down at this. "I believe I owe that in part to you. You have my thanks." Legolas kicked him somewhat subtlety in the leg spurring on Gimli. "And my apologies."  
Glorthrandir at seeing this laughed heartily. "Both are accepted. Now if you will excuse me, I wish to return to Orophil's side."  
  
Gimli nodded. "By all means."  
  
The two friends watched Glorthrandir's departure. Gimli turned to Legolas but his prepared jib fled his brain at the look on his friends face. Legolas looked haunted and dreary. As if age had somehow claimed him. His eyes searched the now abandoned hallway where he had spent his childhood as if looking for something familiar. Finally his gaze came to rest upon Gimli who was watching him with concern.  
  
"What is it? Ever since we arrived here you've acted strangely." Thought Gimli spoke with absolute certainty, he himself was just starting to understand the truth of what he was saying. "It's as if your looking for something you can't find."  
  
At this Legolas' eyes shot to Gimli's. "Yes. That's it exactly. I have only just realized it when you said it. This place, being here now, it feels-" Legolas stopped. He didn't really know how it felt, just that it felt different than he remembered. He didn't even know why. An odd depression fell upon him then and he walked over to the doorway, letting the warm sun spread across his face.  
  
Gimli came up beside him, bathed in his long shadow. "Feels like what?"  
  
Legolas cocked his head to the side, the sunlight streaming through his hair in long, golden slivers. "Wrong. It feels wrong."  
  
Gimli swallowed hard at the open sorrow he heard in his companion's voice. "Perhaps you should talk further with your father."  
  
"It will not help. He's as stubborn-"  
  
"As you are?" Gimli was pleased to see a small smile light up Legolas' face.  
  
Legolas took a deep breath. "Yes. I will go to him. many thanks, old friend." The words were more of a formality, a level of courtesy that Legolas often displayed but they dig deep into Gimli's heart. He watched as Legolas turned away from him and headed towards his father's rooms. The sun no longer upon him but he still seemed to glow with a white light. "I'll wait for you." whispered Gimli, his trepidation growing. "I'll wait for you even if no one else wants me to stay." 


	4. No Tomorrow

Big long sigh. Much angst, much pain, not a whole lot of anything else, consider yourself warned. So here we go, the end of it all and the last chapter of this fic. Lovingly dedicated to the one and only Cowgoddess, for without you, how would I make it?  
  
Guilt By Association  
  
Chapter 4 - No Tomorrow  
  
Legolas stood with his hands pressed up against the warm wood that made the door to his father's many rooms. He was trying to slow his heart rate which seemed determined to break his body in half. Never had he felt more nervous to see his father, not even the numerous times he had been sent here after doing something wrong. Yet here he was trying to find some way to change the years of disrepair that they had fallen into without a clue of how to even start.  
  
"You may as well just come inside."  
  
The powerful voice floated through the heavy wood and Legolas felt himself flush. The guards standing on either side of him pulled the heavy door open and let him through. Legolas remembered the long hallway that separated the many chambers of his father's house as if he had seen it in a dream. The reality of it now, harsh and shadowed, left him with a cold feeling of dread. He turned left at the second doorway and found his father watching him from the corner of his study. Legolas stood by the doorway, not really sure what to say, pretending to look around the room.  
  
"Does it look the same as when you were last here?" Thranduil's voice was soft, muted with a type of sorrow.  
  
Legolas didn't answer at first, searching his memory for things that were similar in the room to what he remembered. "Some of it."  
  
Thranduil ran his slender hands over his ancient books, sending small clouds of dust into the air. The room lit up slightly as the sunlight caught on the dust sending sharp rays of light piercing the air. Father and son watched the beams play on the floor. "But it feels different."  
  
Legolas closed his eyes, trying to find a way to explain this. "I don't know why it does, but yes, it feels different." "You have been away for far too long, my son. Everything changes with time even us." Thranduil paused, holding out his hand and letting the yellow glow move on his palm. "The only constant in life is change itself."  
  
"You have not changed." Legolas said, his eyes shinning with the sun.  
  
Thranduil looked up and met his son's eyes. Blue and blue, one bright with the future, the other dimming with the pain of the past. "Legolas, I'm leaving. Soon I'll be sailing west to Valinor with the last of my household. I want you to come with me."  
  
The silence was deafening.  
  
"Father, I, I know not what to say." Legolas was truly shocked. He couldn't leave, not now with Arwen pregnant again and he still had more places to show Gimli, and then there was Aragorn, what would he say to him? "I have much left to do here."  
  
"Nay son, your tasks have ended." Thranduil crossed the room and gripped his son's shoulders tightly. "You ran your crucible, you threw down your enemy and now you have finally returned home. The time has come for you and I to leave our misery behind. To find our peace in the undying lands."  
  
Legolas pulled out of his grip. "Father I can not. I have ties still in this world."  
  
"What ties? You feel obligated to stay for a human and a dwarf?" The incredulity in Thranduil's voice was making Legolas angry.  
  
"They are my friends, I have seen many-"  
  
"Yes Legolas. I know what you have weathered with them. Do you know how many long nights I have spent sleepless because of the directions your friends" Thranduil voiced the word distastefully, "have chosen?"  
  
Legolas felt his anger leave him. His father had worried about him? "I am here now. All is well."  
  
"Yes," Thranduil's voice was faint, as if a thousand miles away. "Yes, all is well now yet you refuse your own father."  
  
"I must follow my heart." Too late Legolas realized what he had just said. He tried desperately to find a way of rephrasing but no words came. Perhaps that was simply the truth. The thought was sobering.  
  
Thranduil shuttered slightly and backed away from his son as if he had just been struck. "I see now."  
  
"Father-" But Legolas was cut off.  
  
"Nay Legolas, you speak the truth. I have known of it for a long time I just never really took it to heart." Thranduil laughed at the small pun, it was a cool, bitter laugh void of all joy. When he continued speaking his voice held the same tone. "So here it is then. You care more for a dwarf and a human than your own father."  
  
"Not more, it's different."  
  
Thranduil's eyes now held more than pain. "Yet they are the ones for whom you stay. Is that not also true?"  
  
Legolas took a frustrated breath. "I am still needed here."  
  
"Nay Legolas. You were needed here but you left, remember? You left us to fight on without you. And what has that choice gotten you? You now feel out of place in your own home and that is simply because you no longer belong in this family. You abandoned it a long time ago and now you are abandoned it again."  
  
Legolas tried to get his breathing back under control. How fast his father's emotions changed. One moment he was open, loving and the next, bitter and cold. "I have never abandoned you. I was summoned on a great quest."  
  
"Yes, a great quest to end all evil and yet Mirkwood still fights every day to keep it's borders safe. But what would you know of that?" Thranduil's voice was dark and shaking with rage. "What would you know of loss, of pain? You never witnessed death, you ran from it like a coward."  
  
Legolas's voice rose now in answer, rage spurring him on, anguish flittering in the back of his head. "I was there when mother died, I watched Mithrandir plunge to a fiery death, I saw every elf that Elrond and Galadriel sent to Helm's Deep fall in battle and I've been to the very blackest places in Mordor, to the very gates themselves." Legolas was violently shaking with his fury. "Those gates. you can't even imagine it." Legolas was about to go on when he caught his father watching him.  
  
Thranduil's body shook as fiercely as Legolas' but with grief, a grief so terrible and so long buried that it rocked the king with sobs. Again Legolas felt his fury drain away to be replaced by guilt although not really knowing why. "Father." He placed his hands on the trembling back of the king. "I'm sorry." He didn't know what else to say.  
  
Thranduil with a massive effort pulled himself back together. He drew his arm across his eyes, brushing away the stray tears. For the first time since he had come home, Legolas saw the real state of his father. And it was more horrifying than all of Mordor combined. Thranduil was literally in ruin. His exhaustion and despair covered his face. In a strange act of emotion, Thranduil grabbed his son and hugged him tightly. They held the embrace for an eternity. Time slowed to a stop and in that moment Legolas remembered his father, his home, all the things he had left those years ago. And grieved for them for he knew now, he was never getting them back.  
  
The two parted finally, standing a hair's breath apart. Thranduil's eyes were red, brimming with tears. He placed a gentle hand on his son's shoulder. "I must leave this place. To stay and watch it fall, after all the fighting, the death. I couldn't do it."  
  
"But Mirkwood is in no danger."  
  
Thranduil bowed his head. "It is crumbling down before my very eyes. Soon there will be nothing left but broken stones. How can you be so blind?"  
  
Thranduil led him to his window overlooking the gardens down below. "The trees have stopped growing. The plants no longer flower. Most of the houses lay empty. Never again will this place ring with the sounds of children. The spiders will come and overtake it. It has already begun."  
  
Legolas turned his back on the window unwilling to believe him. "Then fight! Defend yourselves as you have done in the past. You must not give in."  
  
Thranduil closed his eyes. Visions of a thousand battles spanning the years flew through him. Death. Mayhem. And all for nothing. "It is too late."  
  
"No father, it is never too late. You are still alive. You can still-"  
  
Thranduil opened his eyes and beheld his son, as the daylight bathed him in a warm glow. "I died a long time ago."  
  
Legolas forgot how to breathe. "What?"  
  
Slowly, as if asleep, Thranduil began to speak. "There was a battle. A huge battle of men and elves. I was there, thousands of years ago. I stood by and watched as my father was cut off and slaughtered. I never moved. I waited for Gil-Galad and ignored the command of my own father. And for that I watched him die. He's still there you know. His spirit forever trapped in those marshes, not alive, not dead. Eternally caught between." He refocused his attention on the shocked and badly shaken Legolas. He reached up and gently stroked his face. "I will set sail tomorrow. I beg you. Come with me."  
  
For a moment Legolas wanted to say yes. He wanted to help his father so badly but then the moment fled and Legolas realized that his father was right. "You know I can not. What you said was correct. I don't belong to you anymore."  
  
Thranduil dropped his hand. "You never did Legolas, you never did."  
  
And with that, there was nothing left between them to be said.  
  
Legolas laid his head against his father's shoulder, listening to his heartbeat. Memorizing everything about it, storing it in his brain so that he would have something to himself. He felt his tears start to fall and he stood up straight. With a final deep bow, Legolas left the room. Thranduil could do nothing but watch him go. The last member of his family, the one he had really lost a long time ago, departing and he had no power to stop him. Thranduil began to shake, now past being able to cry. This was the end.  
  
Legolas, fighting to hide his tears, raced through the palace, hoping no one would see him. He had just reached the main hall when he stopped short. Gimli had not moved from the spot where he had left him. Making a final effort to compose himself he crossed the great hall and joined his friend in the sun. Gimli looked him up and down and Legolas knew that he was not fooled in the least. The dwarf spoke first.  
  
"Ready to go?" He had gathered all their things and strung them upon Legolas' horse who waited just down the steps.  
  
"Go? Yes, I'm ready to go." Legolas descended the stairs of his once beloved home for the last time. They mounted the horse and headed off into the vast forest surrounding the city. "Just where are we going?"  
  
Gimli snorted. "So much for your fine elven senses. Why Gondor of course."  
  
"Gondor?" Legolas felt confusion fighting with his depression.  
  
"Yes you foolish elf. We must help Aragorn, remember what happened when Arwen was pregnant with Eldarion? I thought he would go mad."  
  
At this Legolas laughed. "Yes poor Strider could never handle Arwen when she's upset."  
  
Gimli continued the conversation, rattling on as was his way. Legolas' eyes found the peaks of Mirkwood, cresting through the trees now fading into the distance. He would never come back, he knew that and he also knew his father was right. Mirkwood had begun to die. He swallowed his grief. Aragorn needed him. Gimli would travel with him. He was not a part of Thranduil's family, perhaps never truly was but he wasn't alone. At least, not yet. 


End file.
